家长学校丨 这些问题没厘清，你的孩子可能会卷入“男孩危机”
世界范围内，针对年轻男子及学龄男孩所面临的危机，已有大量研究文章和文献——我们简称之为“男孩危机”，但这只能表达出一部分真相。我们的教育使命和家长抚育子女的天职，促使我们直面这场危机。在想出解决措施以前，我们需要知道它是什么，理解它的含义。
▲近日，王府初中部David校长分享“男孩危机”主题讲座
关于男孩的心理健康问题，我们需要知道，男孩自杀以及暴力行为的几率逐年增高。在中国，自杀是年轻人死亡的主要原因之一。家长、老师和其他教育人员必须对此警醒。此外，这些被孩子所信任的成年人需要和孩子们培养并保持亲密的关系，以帮助他们降低抑郁症的风险。家长也需要认识到，他们有时会成为孩子的重要压力源。所以，家长们需要在敦促孩子成功和接受孩子们的极限中保持平衡。
▲“男孩危机”只是危言耸听吗？需要我们有深度的思考
关于使命的危机也会影响我们的年轻人。在传统角色中，男性是家庭中的唯一供养者和保护者，在当今社会，这种角色发生了转变，男性不仅是保护者，更是一位父亲。年轻人必须顺应未来趋势来培养情商、创造力和职业技能，而不仅仅是拘泥于过去。学校和家庭是这一准备工作的关键因素，但我们的男孩也同样面临着新的挑战。
▲对于“男孩危机”，爸爸与妈妈的看法会不同吗？中、西方文化又会有怎样不同的解读？
在全世界范围内，女孩在学业成绩方面超过了男性同龄人（从每个班级看，最优秀的学生中女孩多于男孩），获得学士、硕士和博士学位的女性也正在超越男性。在某种程度上来说，学校更需要根据男孩们生理、认知、社交和情感发展特点，来找到适合男孩们独特学习方式的教学手段。
关于男性阴柔、女性化、“男孩不像男孩”有很多言论，然而这些言论只会使这个问题更有争议，甚至会做没有必要的延伸。我可以从不同的文化差异、代际差距和社会变化进行评论。但是，究竟要成为一个怎样的男性，避免倒退回过时的大男子主义，男孩还得必须根据自己的家庭和实际情况来决定。
Volumes of research, articles, and literature have been written on the crisis facing young men and school-aged boys across the world. Headlines call it the “boys crisis” and it is part fact, part fiction. Our work with students and parent’s life-long mission of raising children force us to face this crisis. We must see it for what it is and understand it before we can formulate a response.
On boy’s mental health, we know that they are at an increased risk of suicide or forms of violence towards others. Suicide is the leading cause of death for young people in China. Parents, teachers, and those working with young men and women must be aware of the risk. Beyond awareness, these trusted adults need to develop and maintain a relationship with these young people, which serves to reduce their risk of clinical depression. Parents must also recognize that they can sometimes become a significant stressor for their children. A careful balance must be maintained between pushing our children to excel and accepting when limits have been breached.
A crisis of purpose also affects our young men. The traditional roles of men as sole-providers and warriors must transform into modern versions of providers and father-warriors. Young men must develop the emotional, creative, and vocational skills of the future, not the past. Schools along with families are the crucial factor in this preparation, but here too our boys face new challenges.
Across the world, girls are overtaking their male peers in terms of academic achievement (looking at the top students from each class, shows more girls than boys). Woman are now passing men in the accomplishment of bachelors, masters, and doctoral degrees. Schools must use knowledge of physical, cognitive, and social/emotional development to educate young men in ways that are appropriate and accommodate their unique learning styles.
A final look at the mollycoddling, feminization or other criticisms of how boys aren’t boys or men aren’t men any longer. Takes this conversation into controversial and perhaps even useless territory. There are too many different cultural divides, generational gaps, and changes to societies for me to comment on. You must look to your own families and situations to decide for yourselves how a man should behave and avoid regressing into outdated notions of machismo.
